Things I've seen in the past week:

• a three car pile up, 7 dead, the driver was using her phone to text when it happened.
• a bumper sticker saying: "In 1873, congress ordered the printing of bibles for public schools. Separation of church and state...?"
• my cat, Snoop, trying to climb up the metal laundry shoot (='s hilarious)

Last Month in Manhattan

Dear Manhattan, You are hot, in that 90+ degree humid, I need Tads or a popsicle kind of way. But I won't hold that against you. I wouldn't have wanted to go to college anywhere else. It's been great! tuttle, konza, pres rez, strong complex, chase manhattan, alpha chi, pierre house, icthus: I love you all and you have made college a great experience for me.

Update from Pierre House: Erica has moved out and the tempo of everthing has changed with her being gone, less flying in and outs. plus it looks like we've been robbed because Erica has taken all her domestics with her: curtains, couches, and numerous pretty things that make the pierre feel like a home. Meredith will be gone to Mexico in a week (lucky). Megan is here for the summer, and sometimes that's great and other times there's stress. Paul and Sarah just moved in upstairs, back from the Jamaican honeymoon, and are getting things settled. They have a bunch of gadgety things from getting married like a butter bell, and a quesedilla maker...? They're love for each other and relaxed schedule bring a sort of peace. The garden has been really fun: I have alot of green tomatoes, the peas are almost spent, there's strawberries on the vine, and I'm getting my first round of green beans! yess!

It won't be long til I'll be leaving you Manhattan. the 31st of July is moving day as well as my last day of classes here @ wonderful K-State. I'm moving back with the parents in KC so I can go to Nursing school this fall. ps I've been accepted to Avila's program!!! hoooray! Thank you for all of you who have prayed for me on this. Classes start the 26th of August :) I'm excited for a new beginning and all the cool stuff I'll be learning! til then I'm pluggin' away @ my last two summer classes, work and reviewing my human body notes.

nursing update

So I know they call it a waitlist for a reason, but I didn't think there'd be so much waiting. I have the next sopt if one becomes available @ Avila, so keep your fingers crossed and prayin for me. St. Lukes was pretty impatient with me last time I talked with them, so I'm not very hopeful there...

for now, I'm taking 3 summer classes: Managerial Econ (my teacher is painfully borring :[...) Intermediate Econ (this one is pretty ok, young teacher is dorky-fun) Stats 325 (this one makes all the kids in the class testy, our asian grad-student teacher assumes that silence ='s lack of understanding, instead of no one wants to answer your 20th question today, ahhh! hate it! we have been learing how to turn fractions into %, come on!!!)

I'll be home to KC in August, until then I have a summer on weddings to attend and a bunch of stuff to pack up and a house to clean.

An 'official' relationship

For the past week or so, it feels as if time has stopped for me. I decided to come home to KC instead of staying in Manhattan to work and make some moneys. This decision had everything to do with Colin, my new somebody. How cool is it that God has blessed me with time and money to be able to stop for two weeks-ish and pretty much do nothing productive. It feels like how summer used to be as a kid, a real vacation.

Colin is pretty much wonderful. I really want you all to meet him and get to hang out, can't wait! We've gotten to spend good time with our families and Colin's friends here in town. And taken time to fall in love, sigh. I dig how he prays over me and cherishes our time together. being with him feels right in that 'home run' kind of way that everyone was telling me about, yesss! Things are starting to get comfortable and less nervous to be around, lovin' it.

He offically asked me to be his gf two weeks-ish ago and now facebook as well. Both I feel are a giddy, make-you-wanna-throw-up, romantic kind of things. I was always afraid to let people know that things were official in the past, one cuz I don't want to gross people out with the gushings of my heart and two, because I had no idea if things were gonna stick. I still could be grossing people out and there is never a guarantee that things are going to stick, but not afraid of it anymore. breathe.

here's a pic of us on the lawn @ the Nelson with the shuttle-cock.

Welcome summertime!

January: heartache

February: learning to let everything go

March: starting to let Him heal

April: stepping up

May: unexpected discovery

This has been quite the semester, but summer, I welcome you with open arms! Bring on your bbq smells, your sun-kissed days, your lightnighting bug nights. I dare to meet you in the chigger filled grass to catch one more fireworks show and stay up late because 9:00 sunsets make the evening last even longer. Oh summer, my mouth is watering to bite into all your fruits again, your fuzzy peaches, juicy plums and huge watermelons! Summer please last forever...

backyard beauty

these guys are viola, so sweet :)

you'll see (and smell) lots of this on campus, oh spring! lilac

this is hydrangea. we have a bush in the back that's just heavy with stems of blossoms.

If you are looking for some of this for you house, may I unofficially recommend behind the president's house on campus. they are just beautiful there :)

and last, these are sweet William, a little flowery bush that comes back every year, appropriately named :) sweet

Last Orchestra Concert

It has been a long time since I started playing the viola, way back to 4th grade. It's something that I may have talent in, but don't put in the effort, but I love playing. Especially in a quartet or in an orchestra. This Tuesday night @ 7:30 in McCain, will be my last collegiate concert here @ K-State. I wouldn't say I'm sad or anything, these past four years in orchestra have been great, probably one of the better parts of my college experience. Do you know what's great, one or more people from my family have been to every single one of my concerts. family... you rock!

Here's a pic of us in class this week (only the lower half), I love these peeps.

Stockdale visit

One of my favorite get-aways in Manhattan is to take a drive out to Stockdale on the far side of Tuttle. I went out there this morning to have some solitude with Him. It has been a totally beautiful day and I could see across the whole lake and like no one was there, so it was a little slice of paradice. I love skipping rocks and would challenge anyone go without finding a skippable rock at Stockdale, it's an impossible feat.

So yeah, I got to enjoy one of my favorite spots with the big G today and catch some rays :)

When I got home I did some upkeep on my garden, not much to report except the sweet peas are comming up (right on schedule) Would any one like to come shoot the squirrels in my back yard? They are munching on my tulips and stealing my seeds that I've planted, grr.

Gardening!!

So today was fabulous! I spent like 3 hours outside in the yard working on my garden :) I bought some seeds(for my vegie garden) and some herbs and some flowers(violas). plus I was out there in my swim suit and a big sun hat! my tulips are blooming and my pots are planted hooray!!

Here's some pics of how things are looking

Forgiveness

I was reading the message last night and it quoted grace as aggressive forgiveness, I like that.

why is it so hard to forgive ourselves for the things we've done? its harder than forgiving others, even when they've done the same things and caused the same hurts that you have. When I was talking with G this morning and working through some tough stuff, I was suprised how much clarity that I had to speak to G about this. We came up with some pictures to describe where my heart's at:

Part of what I have to forgive in myself is impurity. I had this picture of the innocent middle-schooler me, who had just signed a youth group purity commitment. As this young me, I'm ready to through the stone at the now me, condemming myself as a slut and the worst kind of girl. I guess by my middle-school definition I am a slut, and I don't like that word or use it lightly. It's so hard to forgive myself.

The other picture G and I came up with was me in a pit. You know how we have peaks and valleys in our spiritual lives, well in the valley there are pits, that kind of pit. So I'm in this pit and I've got my rock ready to stone myself for what I've done, and there's God. I can see God's hand reaching down for me to help me out of the pit. But I'm like, "Where are we going? Where do you want to take me? It's scary up there (out of the pit)." And God tells me, "Now, I could pull you up with one hand, but it'd be better if you let go of that rock, you're gonna hurt yourself there."

I need to muster up the courage to grab God's strong hand and trust in his grace (aggresive forgiveness) or this will never get better; this cycle of stagnation with the Lord. You know how if water isn't moving it get's scummy, that kind of stagnant. He wants more from me and I need to ask and create some courage to make it happen.

What a day!

pluses and minuses all throughout the day...

(-)flat bike tire=walk to class (+)Spring in the air makes me smile (-)extreme wind gusts blow tree limb down onto my body not the best... ouch! still ouch :'( (+/-)RAIN! (+)dinner with Jenna :) (-)group project time late tonight

Things lost on Spring Break

-the book The Shack, and I was getting really into it :( -my eye glasses, probably at the hotel

short funny story: went to a bed&breakfast. It was owned my two gay ladies. Two other gay ladies were staying there. I'm pretty sure they though my best friend and I were there together, you know together. definitely a disadvantage of the short hair. a little bit of an awkward stay.

new age lingo

I just looked at a calendar and realized I have another month to go on my facebook fast. Which is sad that I'm even missing it. A thought occurred to me today while in the shower: only in today's computer lingo is friend a verb. "Would you like to friend this person?" "Yeah, I friend-ed him on facebook." When I make friends with someone in person I don't use this grammar... silly. But I guess to 'make friends' with someone might sound as funny as 'making nice'... Back to the shower. I'm really excited to see how God will provide for the KC group in practical provisions of a shower and the skilled labor to install it. Lord, I will see this as your confirmation that the Rising Star Church is where the group's supposed to be :). Though I am still unsure of God's immediate leading toward the Murder Factory neighborhood, I want so badly to be there, even right now.

Elizabeth

I've been thinking about my identity in the Lord, that I should find all identity in him. Girls prayed for me this weekend that I would find all affirmation in the LORD. Today I found it in my name, Elizabeth. Did you know that Elizabeth has over 150 active forms, that's alot of nicknames to choose from, of which I have been 5: Elizabeth, Lizzie, Lizzy, Liz and Elle. Elizabeth means: "God's promise, God's oath, concecrated to God." I want to live out my name, to be a true Elizabeth.

The Next Couple Years?

Many of us are at that point in life where we are wondering, 'just what am I going to do with my life?" and "what is God's plan for me?" It's been really cool seeing how God has been working in so many lives around me; narrowing opportunities, closing doors, surprising us with with entirely new plans that look nothing like what we've been dreaming of for the past 20 years of growing up. God you're so cool like that, always keeping us on our toes, daring us not to get too comfortable. Well before I came to college, I wanted to be a veterinarian for the longest time. I love animals, especially your domestics, dogs and cats. I worked at a vet clinic the summer before I came to K-State and decided it wasn't for me. All the scratching, vomiting, biting, fecal swabs, grooming mishaps etc...along with a nasty manager and a two-day dog hunt, got me thinking that this might not be a great career option. But I really liked those science classes I was taking, and wondered where I could still use those. Hey nursing! A lot of my mother's friends are nurses, so I got to do some job-shadowing, and my sister-in-law is also a nurse. These are some of the best women in my life and I love what they do. God is continually opening my eyes to how much nursing is a mission field, tending to his sick, and showing love in such a tangible way. (did you know that it used to be common practice for nurses to give their patients a massage every night before bed? I know I'd feel better) I would really love to be a nurse, I feel like I would be such a great tool in the kingdom with those kinds of skills, and that I could do something about the poverty that we see around us (well not around most of us in suburbia in our upper-middle class, safe lives) but the poverty we see in the world. But dammit, I didn't put in the all-out effort to make my grades impeccable(I'm sitting right above a 3.0), SLACKER!!!! And now I'm unable to get into nursing school. I feel a couple of things because of the predicament I've put myself in:

• I've let God down and myself by not doing my best in everything, that I've wasting the smarts he gave me with idle laziness
• doubt: is nursing school really His plan? or did I make that up? should I try to find something in the management/marketing field where the classes come so easy to me that I don't have to study?...these kinds of thoughts make me real with all the unknowns that I haven't looked at yet here in my almost-graduate state.

For now I'm keeping my fingers crossed about the nursing schools I've been wait-listed for (2), applied @ Rockhurst for their accelerated nursing program, and I'm looking into getting a job as a CNA with St. Luke's Hospital for this coming Fall.

This weekend (after the women's retreat!!!) I'm going with a group to KC to look into the heart of Kansas City, some of the roughest part of town, the "murder factory". I'm so excited about what's God's doing with the hearts in this group of kids. I can see Him moving and inspiring. Yes, this is a dangerous vision of rescuing a house or apartment from poverty and neglect, and trying to live a simple life as young white kids in an entirely black neighborhood, but God, I feel you calling, and I'm not afraid.

above all my heart sings, "Take my life and let it be, consecrated Lord to thee"

meaning, elizabeth: consecrated for God

Heartbreak is not at the moment you break up, that's just an emotional mess of what you're thinking at the time. Heartbreak is in the everyday stuff.

• when I was cleaning today, I found a kiss print from Ted on the window around the front door of the house, and my kiss print on the opposite side of the pane. How am I supposed to be getting over it and letting go if I keep finding things like this?
• Burning my favorite candle today and Erica asks me about it, "Oh my boy got it for, I mean.... (not my boy...)

Yesterday I was talking to my brother about how long it took him to get over his college girlfriend... I can't even talk to people about it, because I have to risk crying.

Heartbreak is wanting to talk to him so bad, but knowing I'm 'not allowed' (in the school book of life) to call him. It's when you feel so alone even when you're surrounded by people who love you. It's when you're keeping busy to push even a moment of thinking time away, can't process those thoughts, ahhh! My mind becomes the enemy because after almost 4 yrs he's such a part of everything in my life that I love... Nothing is mine, in the way that he hasn't touched it in some way.

Lord please rescue me from this.

"it's the freakin' weekend"

okay, horrible song, but I sing it in my head every time I think about the weekend, or out loud if you're one of my best-s. This weekend:

• I drove to Wichita to sit at a wrestling tournament all day, mostly to see my dad and brother, both of which are totally obsessed with amateur wrestling. I can't believe this used to be such a huge part of my life. Okay, so for those of you that have seen some wrestling, I used to be the kid that ran around the mat to towel-tap the referee when the period was over, yes I was that little girl. My brother has been wrestling since he was in the third grade, so that would have made me 5 yrs old. I spent almost every weekend of wrestling season from 5yrs old to my senior year in high school at a wrestling event. I was proudly the first wrestling manager that my high school had ever had, and used to think I was pretty big stuff because I could score three matches at once. And I was totally mad when coach asked me to train some new girls because the real reason they wanted to be there was to check out some ass (excuse my language, but you get a better picture). I find this whole wrestling part of my life a bit embarrassing, but here's a shout-out to my brother: You rock! I'm incredibly proud of you! And I wouldn't trade you for anybody!
• Also this weekend, I'm completely thrilled: count 'em, three tulips are up in the back yard! spring!!! these little green shoots with pink tips, they almost look like they're wearing lipstick :)

as a side note: big bummer, my dad made an error when reading me my acceptance letter from Avila, I've been accepted to the college, not to the nursing program. My heart about broke when I read the letter for myself. Plus I feel really foolish because I told a bunch of people that I'd been accepted.

giddy...release?

I got some much needed finality of Saturday night and since then, I've been oddly...giddy. It seems I'm very excited about the things in my life right now, little things. I suppose it's not really that odd that I'm giddy. I've been spending more time reading and talking with the Lord than I have in a long while and He's everywhere, or I mean: I'm aware that he's everywhere!

The past few days have been full, in the best sense of full. Here's somethings I've been dabbling in:

I started some flowers and a pot of chives. Here they are in little cups on the window sill. I've got marigolds, delphinium, blue forget-me-not, and shasta daisies. These will take about two weekds to germinate, I'll put up more pics where there's some plant to see. I'm so excited for spring!!! (so I'm forcing to come to me early inside :] )

I've also been trying some cooking firsts this week, things I love but have never made. Here's some hashbrowns and blue berry pancakes for breakfast. I cooked dry beans for the first time this week too, those will be good in these chicken black bean enchilladas.

Hope in God Alone

"I called upon the Lord in distress:

the Lord answered me,

and set me in a large place.

It is better to trust in the Lord

than to put confidence in man.

It is better to trust the Lord

than to put confidence in princes."

Psalm 118:5

You must despair of finding help anywhere else. While a person runs to any and everybody and puts more confidence in men than in God, he may go to the best man on earth, to an apostle or an angel, and it will avail him nothing. He might as well go to a child, as far as efficient help is concerned. I have told sinner sometimes, "I won't pray for you, not have anything to do with you, if you are going to depend on me and put me in the place of the Savior. Go to Christ if you want help."

It is a species of trusting in an arm of flesh that God abhors. Many will flee to books, to anything, and sometimes even to the Bible and put it in the place of God and cleave to such vain help, until God compels the to look to Him alone. My advice: Look to Jesus Christ and prove God herewith, and you shall find that God "will open the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing that there shall not be room enough to receive it" (Malachi 3:10)

Charles G. Finney

• I am so guilty of putting my trust in others before God. I become impatient to hear from the Lord and look to friends for their advice. But this is no good, for then how do I know that it is actually God's will that I've heard. I find the above harsh when he says he won't pray or have anything to do with the person until they've consulted Christ. But it's so true! We need to seek God first above all else, to hear His heart and go to him immediately. The promise of the verse from Malachi brings me to tears today: that God will pour out a blessing that there will not be enough room to receive it. I cling to that hope today.

• Today Jenna spoke a vision over me that she had while we were at Vineyard:

I had been crying for such a long time.

God was looking down on me with breaking heart.

I had to walk to Him and He opened his arms to embrace me

And I fell into the arms of God's embrace and was weak and crying there.

• Jenna says I have to walk to him, the clearest vision she's ever had for anyone. Thank you Jenna

For some years now, my picture of heaven has been me climbing up into God's lap, as the child I once was into a pappa's lap, and looking up into His face and we smile at each other. This picture of intimacy with the Lord is precious to me and believe me, heaven to my heart. Jenna's vision is very close to this picture of close intimacy with God. But I am afraid of being weak, of letting down my defenses, do I even have time to cry? I know I can bring everything to Lord and that he knows me to my inmost parts, but I haven't been this close with him in so long or ever.

116 Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments. Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove: O no! it is an ever-fixed mark That looks on tempests and is never shaken; It is the star to every wandering bark, Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken. Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks Within his bending sickle's compass come: Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, But bears it out even to the edge of doom. If this be error and upon me proved, I never writ, nor no man ever loved. William Shakespeare We watched Sense and Sensibility last week and Jane Austen quotes Shakespeare's sonnets, this one is especially heavy in the script. I like it, how it speaks of love in constance.

this time last year...

I was playing this in preparation for an orchestra trip to Scottland. It's so beautiful and much fun to play, probably one of my favorites in all of my time @ K-State.

one-line thoughts & a cake

apathetic: a pathetic.

it's much easier to get sick when you're depressed.

people can be wonderful.

my hair feels cool.

the process of a cake:

singin' happy birthday to meredith

tips for cake baking:

• make sure you get the same amount of batter in each pan if making a layer cake.
• let cake cool completely before removing from pan
• warm up frosting for 15secs in the microwave for easy spreading
• there is no shame ineating extra frosting :)

I feel a little like Beth from little women, "I never know what to write" especially when I'm including things like cake.

green thumb?

On a beautiful day like today, excitement starts to fill me about the spring coming, and more specifically: gardening :) Do I have a green thumb? not really, but I get so excited about watching things grow. This last summer, my first summer spent in Manhattan, I had the joy of a little garden in the back yard and some flower pots on the front porch. Flowers:I had marigolds, petunias, black-eyed suzannes, purple floss-flower and zinnias (i can't believe I didn't have snap dragons!) Vegetables: I had 4 cherry tomato plants, 4 hills of zucchini, 3 rows of green beans November of this last semester I got some tulip bulbs in the ground, and I am eagerly anticipating their blooms this Spring! I was thrilled to see that some of the bulbs @ the pres. res. were already coming up. When I was raking and mulching winter fallen leaves last week, I noticed these tiny green shoots poking through the ground. I don't know what kind of flower they are because I didn't work this part of campus last spring, but I can't tell you how delighted I was to see them there. so delicate and unexpected in January. My tulips should be up in late March or April, something to look forward to. I'm debating on planting a garden again this year. My lease here in Manhattan ends with July, meaning that I would leave anything in the ground for the new tenets, which I guess is fine. I was debating planting in pots as an alternative. What to plant? zucchini and green beans again for sure, maybe some peas, and some spices: basil, chives, and mint for making sun tea :). 4 cherry tomato plants was too many, so one or two this year, and I'd go for some Roma tomatoes instead; Romas are really good on salad. so yeah, I'm so excited for what's coming!

between studying...

current playlist:

more than words, etreme express yourself, from remember the titans wake up little suzie, simon and garfunkle i'm through with love, marilyn monroe zero to hero, from hercules anyway you want it, journey aint to proud to beg, temptaions

love-luv-l.o.v.e. -the english language needs more words for love. in doin' a little study, the greek forms of love are so much more descriptive tonight i was getting excited about planning a trip for spring break with my best bud mary. thinkin' that a hostel stay is a must and a beach.

Bum bum bum: the flu!

Some of you might have heard that the flu is going around. Unfortunately, I was one of its victims. I wanted to blog about it in case you or a friend is unfortunate enough to have it as well, this way you'll know what misery to expect. I find in bad circumstances that if you know how much yuck to expect then you can hang in there til it's over. So here it is: On Thursday night I was pretty out of it, feeling tired and feverish. Friday fine again until dinner, feeling queasy the rest of the night. Since I wasn't feeling well, I was asleep by 10:30ish but then woke up to throw up around 11:00. The upchuckage continued every twenty minutes or so until 4 am."Oh God! Please let that be the last time!" I have never thrown up that much, leaving me weak and shaky. The next day I spent exhausted in bed sleeping most the day away. I threw up again around 8pm. "No, please not again!" Then, my angel of mercy came and took care of me, encouraging me to nurse down my diet of saltines and 7up.It's amazing how hard it is to get down saltines when your mouth refuses to salivate. Cherry peptobismal is really not as bad as I though it'd be, not chalky in the least bit. The best thing is, I got lots of hugs and a back rub. Nothing helps me feel better like being taken care of. The next day I of course overdid it with moving chairs, sweeping, cleaning etc at String Fling. I was feeling guilty for missing the entire day before. And then because I realized that I basically had no food in me since Friday lunch, I ate this huge bowl of MacnCheese. Mistake! Fortunately it didn't come back up with the help of some more peptobismal. Today is better, I feel rested and I've tackled some regular food. hooray! So important notes: the flu is going around. You should be careful. Please wash your hands, and don't share beverages or chap stick for a while :)

Co-ed

It's official: I am a handicapped friend. I have never had a friendship with a guy that didn't involve some kind of an attraction on one side or the other, so I am a handicap. I'm finding that friendships with guys are something that I really want these days. Men have so many different thoughts to offer, and most of the time guys are immune to getting their feelings hurt from everyday life, unlike the weaker sex. All this living with girls these last four years now, really makes me miss the boys. But how stupid is it that I don't really get how these co-ed friendships work? (ok moment for breath, I realize that I do not need to make a big deal of this, breath). Yeah all of close guy friends have either been a boyfriend/crush or have wanted something romantic from me. In When Harry Met Sally, Harry says,"Men and women can never be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way." This is so true, at least so far for me. But I want to get how these casual hang out relationships work. Functioning in group settings, got it, check. But this idea of one-on-one, I turn into this retarded kid, and have an internal panic attach, lol!!! help

Ready, Set, Haircut

So last night I was really wanting to cut my hair, but put the thought away. Then I read Tyler's blog today and the idea was re-inspired. First I gave myself some bangs and then twiddled me thumbs on the idea of going shorter, then with a burst of courage I said, "To Hell with it!" and I buzzed my hair. I know this is shocking and I'll most definately have points of regret, but don't you do that with every hair cut? It's amazing how much shorter my shower time was and getting ready in the morning will most definately be quicker as well. Oh and I know I look better with long hair and that you might think I'm a boy from behind, but don't grimace. I already know it's bad :) I was growing it out for my some-day-wedding with Ted, and that gone the only thing that was keeping me from cutting it was vanity, so there it went, bye bye hair. Time to 'ugly up', being pretty wasn't doin' me any favors anyway. I've never really thought that girls with buzzed heads were all that cute, and I suppose it's similar to a guy with long hair in this society. The only moment of "Oh Shit!" I've had so far is when I thought about my upcomming interviews, oh well. Hello carefree world! Lord here I am.

Dance Party Solo

So today wasn't the best day... But nothing fixes me up like a dance party through the house, preferrably while dressed up in rediculous clothing using everyday household objects as props, like a round glass 'microphone' or a curtain rod 'cane' or a chair for... :] Current wardrobe: short striped nightgown, tube socks, sparkly cardigan sweater, black beret hat, silver mardi gras beads ='s excellent! This kind of extravaganza is rare in the college years because students hardly ever have the house to themselves, haha I wouldn't subject my poor roomates to this kind of loud craziness. Putting away the dishes just seems so much better while dancing to the Moulin Rouge soundtrack, "Because We Can Can Can", "Diamonds are a Girls Best Friend!" of course loud singing is a must as well. Thank goodness no one is around. This kind of dance off with myself is freeing in the way that no one else can see me @ my craziest, goofy self. "Let the good times roll!" p.s. I miss the dancing days