Sunday, January 11, 2009
Co-ed
It's official: I am a handicapped friend. I have never had a friendship with a guy that didn't involve some kind of an attraction on one side or the other, so I am a handicap. I'm finding that friendships with guys are something that I really want these days. Men have so many different thoughts to offer, and most of the time guys are immune to getting their feelings hurt from everyday life, unlike the weaker sex. All this living with girls these last four years now, really makes me miss the boys. But how stupid is it that I don't really get how these co-ed friendships work? (ok moment for breath, I realize that I do not need to make a big deal of this, breath). Yeah all of close guy friends have either been a boyfriend/crush or have wanted something romantic from me. In When Harry Met Sally, Harry says,"Men and women can never be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way." This is so true, at least so far for me. But I want to get how these casual hang out relationships work. Functioning in group settings, got it, check. But this idea of one-on-one, I turn into this retarded kid, and have an internal panic attach, lol!!! help
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4 comments:
Well, there's bad news and good news.
Bad news:
I'm pretty sure that Harry was right about the sex part getting in the way.
Good news:
He was wrong about the "can't be friends" part. I don't really know what advice to give, since I don't know your feelings exactly, but you just have to give those friendships a shot. And just be honest. If the relationship starts to take a turn for the romantic, and you don't want it to, just say so. A good guy ought to be able to respect that and still be a good friend. Yeah, almost all of those friendships are complicated and frustrating on occasion, but they can also be really valuable. You can do it!
Yuck, that all sounds very junior high, but I stand by it nonetheless. It may also be totally obvious and useless, in which case I apologize. Ah well, at least I tried.
Nick, I agree.
i'm pretty sure i had this same exact conversations with Jenna the other day... yeah, i feel your pain. other than keeping yourself completely above reproach in your actions and words... i don't have a whole lot of advice. just don't give up entirely. my guy friends keep me sane... (ie. their worth the pain in the a** of spending a little more time and effort on a relationship.) also, "brother" and "group" might be good words to stick with...
so about this "handicap", you know that all the big horse races are "handicaps"? see every horse is different, so they attempt to make the race more fair by making the horses carry weights to even out the pack... in this situation, i think that definition of "handicap" might be more fitting than thinking you are retarded...
thanks guys,
Nick, very junior high, but helpful.
I should also add that my general day to day already has large amounts of akwardness, I thrive on it :)
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