Finality

This is a taste of what I'm feeling: After this week, and specifically after today, I have realized that my time with Ted is over, and that my life will go on without him in it. That's hard to admit, I stopped typing for a minute to let that sink in. We realized that both of us were too damn stubborn to be able to change for the other person, and what was needing to change was too foundational in the people we are as individuals. Realized that we were headed in other directions, in a way very selfish on both of our parts, but both of us seem to believe that this kind of selfishness, not changing for the other, is justifiable. It's hard to know that I'm leaving behind a deep love for him and his love for me. I feel like part of me will die here for a while, that part of me that was his girl and the exact person I was to him. One of my roommates told me last that, "Maybe God just really wants to have a relationship with you right now." I think she may be right. I do have a relationship my Lord, but a romance I think is what He is looking for. For Him to mean more to me than any person in this world, that's what to be had here.