- It's been suggested to me that hanging out one-on-one with someone is a date. In this case you could have a date with a friend easy. example: a coffee date, a lunch date. I think this kind of date is brief and a time to catch up on life while enjoying a bit of food/beverage in a public place with other peeps around.
- Another suggestion comes around the idea of monetary delegation. Does the guy pay for the girl: a date? This one is very fuzzy for me because I have many guy friends that would never think to let me pay for a meal/beverage with them. I much appreciate their graciousness! but it's enough to make a friend feel guilty.
- Okay, so this one seems like a given to me: 'dinner and a movie'! If a guy asks me for this kind of time, I assume a date because this is a classic dating setting. Correct me if I am wrong.
- One friend suggested to me, "Do you do romantic things together?" This is so broad, because the friend/date could possibly not even know what is romantic to you. ugh!
haha I feel like this is all unnecessarily frustrating I:/ hmmm
So the only real way that I have found to clearly define a date is physicality. Holding hands, cuddling, kissing: all date worthy. But then a friend of mine says that many chaste couples don't do many of these physical things until they're married...and the frustration of the date idea continues.
5 comments:
This, my friend, is interesting. I agree with you on many levels. I happen to think that there is a difference between a regular date and a serious date.
If a fella just wants to ask a girl to go to a movie because he thinks it would be grand to enjoy cinema while sitting next to a pretty lassie, that is cool. It does not have to be a serious date, just an opportunity for two of the opposite sex to enjoy being with the other gender.
If then the fella decides he would like to do more than just hang with the girl, a serious date may be in order.
When I was in high school, and into college, I used to trade paying for dinner with an extremely beautiful cheerleader from BVNW. And you had better believe I told my friends I was taking her on a date. But we never wanted anything romantic. We just liked to "go out" every once in a while.
In a completely unrelated field, I watched The Big Sleep with Humphrey Bogart the other night, and one of the actresses in it reminded me greatly of you. Not the character, just the actress.
my personal opinion: i think going into it there would need to be some sort of a common ground of 'this is a date', a mutual understanding. if it's ambiguous, i'd say just go in it as friends-i mean, most relationships kindle out of friendships anyway. PLUS, when i think of things as 'friends' i'm usually more myself anyway and less uptight about the whole 'date thing'...says the girl who...haha, yeah. i miss you.
Lauren Bacall in the Big Sleep, I'm flattered. Bogart and Bacall were a classic screen couple in those days, one of the few women Bogart could work successfully with in Hollywood, he's known for calling some of his female counterparts idiots, hah.
Actually, I was thinking Martha Vickers, the girl who played Carmen Sternwood (Bacall's sister in the movie).
But take that as a compliment, I know it is sacrelig, but I have never been a huge fan of Lauren Bacall. She is a fine actress, but something about the way she looks frightens me.
Anyway, just wanted to clear that up.
Maybe this makes me an annoying non-committal guy, but I don't really have a definition of what is or isn't a date. I mean, yes, at some point you have to make your intentions known, but for a few times, I think it's nice to just have some slightly ambiguous outings. You go out as friends and see what happens from there. When you define it as a date people start acting different — often weird.
BTW, hello Liz. I didn't realize you were in the blogosphere. Yes, I used the word blogosphere. I'm using it in a sarcastic, "nobody should ever use that word" sort of way.
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