giddy...release?

I got some much needed finality of Saturday night and since then, I've been oddly...giddy. It seems I'm very excited about the things in my life right now, little things. I suppose it's not really that odd that I'm giddy. I've been spending more time reading and talking with the Lord than I have in a long while and He's everywhere, or I mean: I'm aware that he's everywhere!

The past few days have been full, in the best sense of full. Here's somethings I've been dabbling in:

I started some flowers and a pot of chives. Here they are in little cups on the window sill. I've got marigolds, delphinium, blue forget-me-not, and shasta daisies. These will take about two weekds to germinate, I'll put up more pics where there's some plant to see. I'm so excited for spring!!! (so I'm forcing to come to me early inside :] )

I've also been trying some cooking firsts this week, things I love but have never made. Here's some hashbrowns and blue berry pancakes for breakfast. I cooked dry beans for the first time this week too, those will be good in these chicken black bean enchilladas.

Hope in God Alone

"I called upon the Lord in distress:

the Lord answered me,

and set me in a large place.

It is better to trust in the Lord

than to put confidence in man.

It is better to trust the Lord

than to put confidence in princes."

Psalm 118:5

You must despair of finding help anywhere else. While a person runs to any and everybody and puts more confidence in men than in God, he may go to the best man on earth, to an apostle or an angel, and it will avail him nothing. He might as well go to a child, as far as efficient help is concerned. I have told sinner sometimes, "I won't pray for you, not have anything to do with you, if you are going to depend on me and put me in the place of the Savior. Go to Christ if you want help."

It is a species of trusting in an arm of flesh that God abhors. Many will flee to books, to anything, and sometimes even to the Bible and put it in the place of God and cleave to such vain help, until God compels the to look to Him alone. My advice: Look to Jesus Christ and prove God herewith, and you shall find that God "will open the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing that there shall not be room enough to receive it" (Malachi 3:10)

Charles G. Finney

• I am so guilty of putting my trust in others before God. I become impatient to hear from the Lord and look to friends for their advice. But this is no good, for then how do I know that it is actually God's will that I've heard. I find the above harsh when he says he won't pray or have anything to do with the person until they've consulted Christ. But it's so true! We need to seek God first above all else, to hear His heart and go to him immediately. The promise of the verse from Malachi brings me to tears today: that God will pour out a blessing that there will not be enough room to receive it. I cling to that hope today.

• Today Jenna spoke a vision over me that she had while we were at Vineyard:

I had been crying for such a long time.

God was looking down on me with breaking heart.

I had to walk to Him and He opened his arms to embrace me

And I fell into the arms of God's embrace and was weak and crying there.

• Jenna says I have to walk to him, the clearest vision she's ever had for anyone. Thank you Jenna

For some years now, my picture of heaven has been me climbing up into God's lap, as the child I once was into a pappa's lap, and looking up into His face and we smile at each other. This picture of intimacy with the Lord is precious to me and believe me, heaven to my heart. Jenna's vision is very close to this picture of close intimacy with God. But I am afraid of being weak, of letting down my defenses, do I even have time to cry? I know I can bring everything to Lord and that he knows me to my inmost parts, but I haven't been this close with him in so long or ever.

116 Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments. Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove: O no! it is an ever-fixed mark That looks on tempests and is never shaken; It is the star to every wandering bark, Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken. Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks Within his bending sickle's compass come: Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, But bears it out even to the edge of doom. If this be error and upon me proved, I never writ, nor no man ever loved. William Shakespeare We watched Sense and Sensibility last week and Jane Austen quotes Shakespeare's sonnets, this one is especially heavy in the script. I like it, how it speaks of love in constance.

this time last year...

I was playing this in preparation for an orchestra trip to Scottland. It's so beautiful and much fun to play, probably one of my favorites in all of my time @ K-State.

one-line thoughts & a cake

apathetic: a pathetic.

it's much easier to get sick when you're depressed.

people can be wonderful.

my hair feels cool.

the process of a cake:

singin' happy birthday to meredith

tips for cake baking:

• make sure you get the same amount of batter in each pan if making a layer cake.
• let cake cool completely before removing from pan
• warm up frosting for 15secs in the microwave for easy spreading
• there is no shame ineating extra frosting :)

I feel a little like Beth from little women, "I never know what to write" especially when I'm including things like cake.